Editor’s Note: After taking the previous football season off, Mandi Pepperidge, a member of Alpha Phi Sorority at an undisclosed Pac-12 school, returns as a full time columnist. As many know, she picked football games against the spread using her own special thought processes. Here are a couple of links to Mandi’s previous works. Sample #1 Sample #2
Hello EVERYONE, it’s like so AWESOME to be back. Sorry I missed this football season but I did this AMAZING study abroad program where I helped turtles in Costa Rica. You should see my tan.
I’ve rejoined this fine blog so I can give you AMAZING sports information as well as hopefully some life coaching. Like don’t sleep with the professor supervising your study abroad program. It gets awkward.
But I’m here to talk about NCAA Basketball National Title Game, and tell you who will win. Sound’s easy right? Well let Mandi tell you, it just isn’t
Can we first just admit how awful this game is.
First we have Kentucky. Look, Mandi is as big a fan of Raylen Givens as the next girl, but outside of that how awful is Kentucky. I mean Ashley Judd is pretty for an older woman but she is a really bad actress and her sister is really fat. Outside of that, have you met people from Kentucky. They don’t have teeth and the state food is meth and oxycotin.
True story, I was once driving through Kentucky and I had my labradoodle Lyla with me. I was looking totally cute and a woman at a gas station walked up, looked at my dog and said, she wished she could have hair like her. Yes this really happened.
Then there is Connecticut. Is that even a real place? Have you ever met someone from there? Has anyone ever said, I want to vacation in Connecticut?
So this is a game with an awful place against a place that may not even exist.
Apr 6, 2014; Arlington, TX, USA; Kentucky Wildcats head coach John Calipari speaks at a press conference during practice before the championship game of the Final Four in the 2014 NCAA Mens Division I Championship tournament at AT&T Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports
Also the Kentucky coach looks like a creepy old guy who thinks he is allowed to hit on me at a bar. He better be really rich.
Picking this game seems like an impossible task, like being honest with a friend about their hair. I wish I could just tell them both they look great and move along.
I guess I’d rather believe in the myth of Connecticut than the reality of a place with creepy guys who want to hit on mean and fat women who want to have hair like my dog.
Take Connecticut and those 2.5 point thingys.