Utah Utes Fight Song Solution

Oct 12, 2013 Salt Lake City, UT, USA; Utah Utes cheerleaders lead the team onto the field prior to a game against the Stanford Cardinal at Rice-Eccles Stadium. Utah defeated Stanford 27-21. Mandatory Credit: Russ Isabella-USA TODAY Sports

So it seems like there is a new controversy at Utah.

The ASUU, Utah’s Student Government for those of you not familiar with those fine go getters, have passed a unanimous resolution to change the Utah Utes Fight Song, UTAH MAN.

According to the article, ASUU believes the song is discriminatory and it makes certain groups feel marginalized.

I will say this, maybe those folks are worth listening too.  Too often folks who feel marginalized are told to get over it (and if you saw the twitter reaction today, you know what I mean).  And maybe changing the words would help.  Honestly would singing FAN in place of man really kill you people.

Let’s be honest, the song is sexist and condescending.  But I’ve always thought of it being that way in the same way your grandpa is sexist and condescending.  It’s kinda cute, generally harmless and a product of a bygone era.  But then again I’m a white guy who hasn’t know a day of discrimination in my life, so I’m not exactly the person to discuss these matters.  Neither are you white guys screaming about this on twitter.

Also, there is zero chance the fight song is more discriminatory than the mascot.  So hey ASUU, how about tackling the elephant in the room before we scream about the mouse.

Finally, there is some good news, in that there are students who actually know the words to the fight song.  We should celebrate that.

But we at Hoyo’s Revenge like to think of ourselves as problem solvers.  So here is a perfect solution.

Here are the current words to UTAH MAN:

"VERSEI am a Utah man, sir, and I live across the green. Our gang, it is the jolliest that you have ever seen. Our coeds are the fairest and each one’s a shining star. Our yell, you hear it ringing through the mountains near and far.CHORUSWho am I, sir? A Utah Man am I. A Utah Man, sir, and will be ’til I die; Ki-yi! We’re up to snuff; we never bluff, we’re game for any fuss. No other gang of college men dare meet us in the muss. So fill your lungs and sing it out and shout it to the sky, we’ll fight for dear old Crimson, for a Utah Man am I."

What I propose is, most of the words be changed to MUMBLE.  Because most of the fans are mumbling anyway.  Then we keep WHO AM I, change SIR to DUDE and MAN to FAN.

That way we have everyone singing what they’re actually doing, mumbling the words they don’t know.  Then we change MAN to FAN and put the word DUDE in our Fight Song, which is totally awesome.

Problem solved.