The Final Four: Why God Why?


Mar 29, 2014; Anaheim, CA, USA; Wisconsin Badgers players celebrate after overtime in the finals of the west regional of the 2014 NCAA Mens Basketball Championship tournament against the Arizona Wildcats at Honda Center. The Badgers defeated the Wildcats 64-63. Mandatory Credit: Richard Mackson-USA TODAY Sports

I’ve often struggled with the idea of faith.  I’ve never been a person that faith comes to easily.   I am often trying to find meaning where others simply say I should accept God’s will.

And the Final Four has to be a perfect example.

Why would God do this to us?  Why does he hate Utah fans, and the entire Pac-12 for that matter?  Why would he love the SEC so much?

I mean if God is an SEC fan and Heaven is in fact what an SEC fan might imagine it to be, do any of us even want to go there?

How could God love Kentucky and their fans?  I mean they’re horrible, just as bad as Alabama football fans.  They’re equally as loud, annoying and stupid.  Their hair styles are just as ridiculous and dental hygiene just as poor.  Kentucky had a wildly racist coach in Aldolf Rupp, cheated so badly they nearly got the death penalty and now are coached by John Calipari.

And they just get to keep winning? Really Lord?

And Florida?  God takes winning at football away from them only to give them basketball?   They don’t even care.  Am I going to get to the Pearly Gates to find St. Peter with a mullet and jorts and be forced to say, It’s Great To Be A Florida Gator before passing through?

To top it all off it’s clear God loves Old White Men too because how else could Wisconsin be in the Final Four.  Here are two tweets I sent during the Arizona-Wisconsin game:

"Old white guys everywhere are saying Wisconsin plays basketball “the right way”There are old guy Utah fans literally masturbating about the way Wisconsin plays"

I mean if what better way to keep Old White Guys using the codewords for white of, “High IQ” and “The Right Way” by using “Fundamentals” than by putting Wisconsin to the Final Four.   I mean BYU fans look at Wisconsin’s team and say, damn that is a white team.

Also God, can you tell us what, Utah, Arizona and the Pac-12 have done to you.  Utah fans have endured the last five years of an inexplicable QB situation and accepted a self-imposed death penalty in basketball.  Do we have to continue to see Kentucky be successful?  Wasn’t THEM beating us in ’93, ’96, ’97, ’98, ’03 and ’05 not to mention setting them up to play us in ’99 in the Sweet Sixteen only to have us lose to Wally freakin’ Szczerbiak enough?  Utah gets to keep watching them win while we blow games to St. Mary’s?


What did Arizona do to offend God?  They’ve lost their last four Elite Eight games by 1.8 points with two overtimes?

Have you taken offense at the entire Pac-12?  The conference hasn’t had a Final Four team since 2008 and hasn’t won a national title since 1997.

I do not know what happen that causes us to endure God’s sports wrath so.  I hope their is a way find a way back to His good graces.

The idea that Heaven is a place where idiots stand around chanting SEC, SEC and discussing what a good guy Nick Saban really is, well that’s enough to make someone want to become an atheist.