Entitled Utah Football Fans Can Kiss His Hairy Yellow Butt


Sep 28, 2013 Columbus, OH, USA; Ohio State Buckeyes head coach Urban Meyer walks off the field after defeating the Wisconsin Badgers 31-24 at Ohio Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Andrew Weber-USA TODAY Sports

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from a longtime friend whom goes by the name Colo Ute.  Like so many guest posters on my blog, he doesn’t want people knowing his real name.  But that doesn’t mean you people haven’t pissed him on and he wants you to know it.  And I have to say, I think he’s right.  Enjoy.

I blame Urban Meyer.  Pre-Meyer, I hated getting on the web after Utah losses because of the BYU fans.  Post Meyer, I hate getting on the web after Utah losses because of the Utah fans….or more specifically, the Utah fans who believe 2004 should be the norm.

So I had a guy tell me today that Utah should expect to be consistently 2nd or 3rd in the South, with a once every 4-5 year Rose Bowl run.

Can someone tell me why?

Why in the name of Pete are we freaking special?   What is it about our program that we should just go ahead an inherently EXPECT to be better than UCLA, Arizona State, Arizona, etc.?

I’ve heard constantly the last 4 weeks, “Ute fans DESERVE better!”

Again, I ask why?  What is it that we as Ute fans do to DESERVE more success than the fans of the other programs we’re playing?  I’ve been a Ute fan for 24 years, and I can tell you flat out, other than giving the University a bunch of money every year, I don’t do a single monkey-scrogging thing to be DESERVING of squat.  And if people want to count paying for season tix and CC dues as reason for their delusional entitlement, guess what, fans of all of the other teams in the conference are paying for tix and donating money too….most of the time a helluva lot more than we are. “Oh, the universe is so unjust.  We’re not dominating the toughest schedule in the country despite the fact that I have to pony up $100 in Crimson Club dues to get my tickets, and ”  So really, if your pathetic-ass excuse is the cost of your Autumn entertainment, we should actually expect LESS than what we’re getting.

“Well, I don’t think Kyle can take us to the next level.” This is the biggest bunch of Rhino plop I think I’ve ever heard.  First of all, short of a National Championship, Kyle HAS taken us to pretty much the highest levels…oh, but that was so 5 whole years ago.  I mean, we may only have like a handful of RM’s now who were recruited with the players who did that.  Ancient history.  (Incidentally, know what that team had that this team doesn’t….no injuries.  In fact that team was largely built out of the depth created the year before when there were a plethora of injuries which forced talented underclassmen into the line-up.  Those talented underclassmen actually struggled a bit early…and it caused many Ute fans to want Kyle to be fired cause they DESERVE better….but I digress.)  It’s all about now, and we DESERVE to be doing that every 4 years, apparently…but we’re not, and it’s all because of Stickel-pfeiffering COACHING!!!

“Kyle has never recruited a D1 Caliber QB.” Epic myth.  Travis Wilson was an Elite 11 QB with plenty of PAC and Big 12 offers.  I guess what you meant was Kyle never recruited a D1 caliber QB without first requiring a comprehensive brain scan to show potential problems which have never manifest themselves in the past.  Such incompetence.

“Kyle totally mismanaged the QB situation here.” Let’s examine that for a minute, shall we?  What did Kyle do to “Mismanage” the QB situation so badly?  Following the glory of the 2008 season, we lost a Senior QB.  Kyle had in the program a returning scholarship back-up QB, he went and recruited one of the top 3 JUCO QB’s in the country, and got a promising HS QB who had a handful of Big 12 and PAC offers.  So far, that’s an ideal situation, not mismanagement.  Where did it all go wrong?

In spring ball, it turned out that the returning QB wasn’t the best of the 3.  What was worse, the itty-bitty frosh looked like he may actually be the best…but only in terms of making reads, running the offense, and throwing the furthest and most accurately.  So, did the mismanagement occur when Kyle judged those factors to be important traits in his starting QB?

So, fall camp arrives, and the first depth chart comes out with teeny-weeny Jordan #1.  This causes returning back-up to transfer.  No problem, we’ve still got top-notch JUCO battling him for the job.  Well, JUCO starts playing better and Frosh is still small, though still better at all those minor quarterbacky things like throwing and stuff.  So Kyle decides to start the JUCO in hopes that froshy can grow a bit.  Well, JUCO plays mediocrely – is that a word – in beating up a bunch of patsies, but as soon as the competition stiffened up, the offense stalled and folks started grumbling.  So, Kyle decides that he’s just as soon have a decent offense and let the more talented quarterback actually play quarterback.

So, in essence what I’m saying is that folks are claiming that Kyle mismanaged our QB situation after BJ graduated because he PLAYED THE BEST FREAKIN QB??? Holy shnikes!!!  What a freakin’ moronic medulla oblongatally challenged crotch-head.  How could an experienced coach ever come to the conclusion that the team has a better chance of winning if he plays the guy who HAS THE MOST SKILLS?!?!?  How could he not look back at that QB’s history of never being injured and not see that he’d spend the bulk of his career injured?  Apparently coaches who are capable of “Getting programs to the next level” have the gift of prophecy, and would never mismanage a situation this badly.

“Well he didn’t recruit adequate back-ups.”  This is an awesome myth.  Yes, we did not sign any scholarship QB’s for 2 recruiting classes, but that didn’t mean we didn’t recruit any.  See, you self-important pricks, recruiting isn’t like Scribblenauts.  You can’t just say, “Well, we should get a QB” and all of a sudden one appears.  The kids still have a choice.  Kyle had a decent dual threat QB committed to the program.  He backed out and signed with Washington late in the game.  He had another who he was certain he landed who signed with ASU on signing day.  Kyle recruited QB’s, he just didn’t do a good enough job of hog-tying them and forcing them to sign with us over two better funded and resourced programs who are somehow less deserving of victory than we are.

“We know about Brown and Eubanks, he should have had other contingency plans.” Here’s the thing…and we learned this with 2 of our 3 basketball head coaching searches, and will learn again the hard way should you imbecilic slap-nuts get your way with Kyle this year… once you get past your 3rd and 4th choices, what you’re left with is likely not going to be very good.  I’d submit that even we’d gone sperm-like with our offers to QB’s all over the country, the back-up we end up with once Brown and Eubank were off the table…on #$@%ing signing day, mind you…wouldn’t have been substantially better than what we have.

“Why didn’t he get a JUCO QB.” As yes, the mystical awesome JUCO Quarterback.  Why don’t you go count how many effective JUCO QB’s are playing at good D1 programs right now…and I’m only counting ones that weren’t stashed at a JUCO by an SEC program to get his grades up and better hide the payments to his dad.  There are in any given year a handful of JUCO QB’s who could play at the D1 level.  Of that handful, exactly zero are going to sign with a school to back-up a freshman or sophomore…or junior for that matter.  And no, you can’t try to sell, “Well look at our history of getting QB’s injured” as a convincing argument, geniuses.

Oh, and for the record, we’ve signed 6 QB’s the past 2 years, so the problems solving itself.  Yes, our back-up struggled this year, but getting QB’s is one thing, getting them to be Juniors and Seniors is another…is pretty amazing how few people think about that.

So, here’s what it boils down to, we could fire Kyle this year, and if we do, one of 3 scenarios will occur:

1)      We get a good replacement who somewhat salvages the really solid recruiting class Kyle is putting together, only losing a couple of wavering potential stars like Frison and Snell perhaps.  He gets the guys to buy into a system, works them hard, and with a RS Freshman QB goes 5-7 with a brutal schedule.  Judging by how the Utes compare former and current hoops coaches, Ute fans can’t say enough about he did by getting the program back to where it was under the old coach, and look forward to the future where paddy-cakes on the schedules promise easier bowl paths….as long as no one gets injured, but the new coach will make sure that won’t happen because hiring new coaches solves all problems.

2)      We get a replacement who’s roughly equal to Kyle.  He gets Kyle’s recruits to perform well and gets to a bowl game or two, but faces some rebuilding in years 3 and 4, and with the poorer than normal recruiting classes that typically accompany coaching changes, he can’t quite live up to that Rose Bowl every 4 years expectation that we DESERVE, and gets fired…paving the way for 2 more below average recruiting classes and another 3rd or 4th choice head coach which turns it into a dumpster fire.

3)      We get a flat-out bad hire, and he just goes directly dumpster fire.

Obviously we can’t predict with certainty which scenario would occur, but considering Utah would be AT BEST, the 5th best Coaching Vacancy this year, it’s a pretty high likelihood that we wouldn’t pull that next Urban Meyer away before someone else did, and we’d end up pretty much right where we are, or worse.

OR – we can give Kyle a full recruiting cycle with the PAC-12 affiliation and new facilities behind him.  We let him get some depth at O-Line which allows him to pull guys out when they decide not to block the DE’s who line up 6 inches outside the tackle-box.  We let him get some depth a WR so he can pull guys out who would rather be playing volleyball than do that whole “receiving” thing.  We let him get an UPPERCLASS Quarterback who’s had time to learn and develop.  We let him get some depth at every position so that when every conceivable thing that could go wrong like it did this year happens, it doesn’t turn into the perfect storm requiring him to completely overhaul the offense and defense.  We let the talent in the pipeline and program DEVELOP into PAC level players.

Sorry, you bunch of entitled pansies, you’re just going to have to wait.

But that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.