Thanks for stopping by Hoyo’s Revenge today. We have a very special interview today. It’s with the guy we all sit near at football games who is an expert at everything.
Hoyo’s Revenge (HR): Thanks for sitting down with us today.
Guy We Sit Near (GWSN): I’m happy to do it if it will mean some changes to the offensive play calling.
HR: Well lets get right into it, what is wrong with the play calling.
GWSN: What isn’t wrong with it, it sucks. That Ludwig guy has no damn clue what he’s doing.
GWSN: Yeah the guy who calls the plays, we should fire that guy.
HR: He hasn’t been here since 2008.
GWSN: Are you sure?
HR: Yes and we did go undefeated in 2008.
GWSN: Yeah but that was because Brian Johnson was calling the plays that year. We should hire him to call plays.
HR: We did, last year.
GWSN: We didn’t because the play calling last year sucked. And that QB they played, Jordan Wilson. How did they even let him on the field. He’s been terrible for three years now.
GWSN: Yeah and I’ve been to every spring practice and he’s being blown away by that Arnold Cox guy. He might be the first good quarterback since Jim Boylen called all of our QB’s and forced them to leave.
HR: Uh Ok, what types of plays would you call.
GWSN: Well first we need more diversity on first down, thats why I’d throw on every first down, they’ll never see it coming. And no more bubble screens. I’d try to get the ball to the receivers on the outside in space.
HR: Like with a bubble screen.
GWSN: No I’d never call those dammit.
HR: Ok lets turn to defense.
GWSN: My two problems with the defense are the cornerbacks never look for the ball and we don’t huddle right?
GWSN: Yeah my high school coach insisted on an organized huddle, it instills discipline. If we huddled better we’d get less personal fouls.
HR: And the Cornerbacks?
GWSN: Yeah ever since we had that guy named Parker Sanders years ago our defensive back never turn and look for the ball.
HR: What if I said they were coached not to do that.
GWSN: I’d say that was stupid, my high school coach always had us look for the ball.
HR: Since we have to wrap up, anything else…
GWSN: I wish we’d bring back that offense we had in 2004.
HR: You mean the spread under Urban Meyer?
GWSN: Oh I don’t want anything to do with Urban Meyer, he betrayed us.
Thanks for joining us folks.