Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Cal


Okay, what do you people want me to write about Cal.

Cal is boring, worse than Oregon St. boring.  Their head coach is Jeff Tedford.  Jeff Tedford is boring and probably about to be fired.  But Cal’s boringness goes beyond that.

Before Jeff Tedford, Cal’s coach was Tom Holmoe, now that A.D. at BYU, wow talk about boring.  During Holmoe’s career at Cal, he won 12 games in five years.  Actually it was 16 but he had to forfeit four of them because he used ineligible players.  Imagine going to all the trouble use ineligible players and only winning four games.  That’s so Cal.

The last time Cal went to the Rose Bowl was 1958 and the last time they won it was 1937.  Wow, that is some football TRADITION.  If even one Cal fan bitched about Utah and Colorado coming to the Pac-12, you’re pathetic.

I know some of you want me to make hippie jokes.  I won’t do it because their lame.  And hippies don’t really exist anymore except for the imaginations of people in Utah and the South.

I also suppose I could make some Asian jokes here, but like I said with UCLA, they’re not funny and it’s really hard not to sound racist.

So Utah has a must win game this week.  But from a humor perspective, there is nothing funny about Cal.  So can we please win, I hate losing to teams that are equal to a blank piece of paper.