Mandi the Sorority Girl Picks the Pac-12
Mandi was 1-8 last week (ouch) and is 4-14 on the year (double ouch)
Aloha boys, I’m glad I’m back to spend a little more time with you. Mandi is never more at home than she is in the middle of a bunch of boys (stop it, Mandi’s not that kind of girl, you’re totally buying me dinner first). But as you can see, my picks just haven’t been helping you very much. So I need to make it up to each and every one of you individually. So call me?
As for this week, I’m going to work extra hard to try and do better. Mandi will be giving you 110%.
So lets get to the games.
*Editor’s Note: We’re using the Consensus Line from Vegas Insider at the time of the writing of this column*
UNLV +8 1/2 vs Washington St.
This is a very tough game. Both teams have the same color schemes. I think what this is going to turn on is that girls at UNLV are emotionally dead inside and thus willing to do whatever it takes to win, or at least cover.
USC -8 at Stanford
You know Mandi doesn’t like USC. Except for the adorable sweaters those song girls wears. Mandi would look awesome in one of those. But as a rule their girls are like Arizona St. girls with more money and who occasionally go to the gynecologist. But I have to accept my Andrew isn’t at Stanford anymore, he’s totally a millionaire. But that money won’t help Stanford against those mean skanks from USC.
Ohio St. -17 at Cal
Ok there are a lot of reasons to go the other way here. Bears are cute and I have no clue what a Buckeye is. Cal girls aren’t cute but at least they’re smart, something no one has ever accused a girl from Ohio of. Plus lets face it, Cal girls are probably cuter too. Have you ever heard anyone say, “you know who has hot women, Ohio?” But I’m not falling for it because even Mandi has heard of Urban Meyer.
Tennessee Tech at Oregon
Tennessee Tech is a place? Like a college with buildings and stuff? And aren’t Tech schools supposed to be for smart people? Then why is it in Tennessee. Mandi is confused.
Portland St. at Washington
If Portland was a state it would be a really cool state. But it isn’t so despite all my mixed feelings about Washington, they’ll win.
Arizona St. + 6 1/2 at Missouri
I hate the sluts at Arizona St. with every fiber of my being. But they’re playing Missouri and I just find the very concept of Missouri boring. Hatred trumps boredom every time.
Colorado +14 at Fresno St.
I love the Buffaloes and am totally trying to save them, plus Boulder is fun in a weird hippy way. But it’s getting harder and harder to try and help the Buffalo when it seems like they won’t help themselves. How can you save an animal that is openly trying to kill itself. Still, Fresno just sucks.
Utah +4 vs BYU
It’s a tale as old as time. Horny LDS boy gets home from his mission. Boy sees Mandi. Boy asks Mandi out. Boy discovers Mandi isn’t LDS and tries to get to third base while muttering something like, “come on baby oral is moral.” I’m not falling for that, not now not ever.
South Carolina St. at Arizona
Did you know that the fans of the University of South Carolina scream Go Cocks to support their team? Did you know South Carolina St. isn’t the University of South Carolina?
UCLA -17 vs Houston
Girls in Houston like to have big hair and lots of make up. Do they realize how totally silly they are going to look in LA.