The Ute Rants- By ColoUte


*Editor’s Note: ColoUte luckily decided to grace us with another of his rants, so I’ve decided to give his talks a name, simply The Ute Rants.  Enjoy him even in his pain.*

“Well, I guess it’s time to start thinking about basketball sea…..OH #@%$!!!!!” Ute fans who were actually Ute fans the last time they lost to the Aggies.I was thinking last night about the last time the Aggies beat the Utes.  Biggie Smalls had the #1 song in America with Mo Money Mo Problems, Gas was $1.35 a gallon, and I still had hair.  My blushing bride I, approaching our 2ndanniversary, watched the debacle from our wooden bleacher seats in the North West corner of the 30,000 seat capacity Rice Stadium using the season tickets we paid $75 apiece for.  The Utes started a promising JUCO quarterback named Jon Crosswhite – a fact that roughly 8 Ute fans probably remember.Oh, and the Utes still had a good basketball team back then – for the last loss to USU actually occurred during the same academic year that the Ute hoops team played for the National Championship.  A few things have changed since then.

The biggest thing that’s changed is that the last loss was annoying and led to literally dozens of previously silent Aggies coming out of the closet to crow about how they were passing up the Ute athletic program.  In contrast, this loss – based upon what I’m seeing on Facebook, Twitter, and various fan sites that weren’t even conceived of the last time the Aggies walked away with the W – was a nuclear explosion that may signal the end of the Ute football program forever….so that’ll suck.

So, with that, what did we learn about our Utes following that uninspired debacle Friday night?  I’ll do a bulleted list because that’s the only way the man I admire most in the world, Mullet Ute, will read it.

  • The Ute offensive line is either not seasoned enough or not skilled enough to pick up pressure from varying angles.
  • The Ute offensive line is either not seasoned enough or not skilled enough to pick up pressure from the same angles.
  • The Ute offensive line is neither seasoned nor skilled enough to open a hole in the run game when the opponent lines up with only 3 down linemen.
  • The Aggies uncovered the formula for beating the Utes – which apparently is Victory = Block a punt for a TD + Get center to hike to unaware QB in red zone + have Ute LS bounce all FG snaps at least twice + don’t give Jacoby Hale enough time between snaps to try to remember which way is left and which way is right.  Teams that do that this year will deliver frequent close beatings to the Utes.

So with that recap in the books, let’s talk about what everyone wants to talk about – at least I’m assuming that’s what everyone wants to talk about because it’s the topic that dominated the BYU/Weber State radio post-game yesterday – What should Kyle do about the QB situation.

Here’s my 2 cents, but I think you’ve got to start Hays for the remainder of the season.  He’s not a good D1 QB.  But he’s a warrior, and he can manage a game to the point that he at least won’t score for the other team and will give his weapons a shot at winning the game for him.

On Travis Wilson, I get the “Let’s take our lumps with a true frosh and invest in the future” school of thought.  And look, I love what I’ve seen of Wilson.  I see in him a lot of what I saw from Alex Smith.  He throws a similar ball and his gazelle like running style is the same.  The main difference is I think I almost see more fire out of Wilson.  But that’s neither here nor there.  My concern isn’t really with how Wilson will play.  My concern is that the line in front of him sucks gigantic, infected, puss-spewing, yak ass.   Wilson can’t read a D1 defense, can’t  adjust out of odd coverage and pressure schemes, and can’t sit behind Larry, Curly, Shemp, Moe, and Tevita Stevens trying to figure out the game.  I don’t think it’s in his best interest to get his ass kicked for 10 straight games.  Even if he manages to avoid getting injured, it can’t be good for his confidence.

My ideal would be to keep Wilson as an occasional Wildcat QB for 5-10 plays a game – more if you can game plan them in.  Give him new wrinkles and maybe increase his role each week, and give him some opportunities to learn on the job.  But I really think it’s best to make Hays the main QB this season.  If we really want to throw a few frosh to the fire, let’s get Cedric Poutasi and Kala Friel in….make them vomit blood out of their eyeballs in practice each week, let them see what PAC-12 defenses are going to throw at them, and let’s start getting that surprisingly important “Returning O-Line Starts” stat growing.

As for Jordan Wynn,  Jordan, I’ve yelled at folks in the stands who were booing you.  I’ve been yelled at by folks in the stands yelling at people who were booing you.  I’ve been impressed by you and couldn’t wait to see more.  I’ve been frustrated by you and wanted to go 5 rounds in the Thunderdome with you.  All I have left to say to you is I have loved you and will miss you, but you need to start thinking about quality of life at this point.  The next time the Aggies beat the Utes, I’d hate for you to be posting on some blog and reminiscing like me about how the last time the Utes lost this game, you had the use of both of your arms. And that’s about all I’ve got to say about that.

I look forward to next week’s rant as, win or lose, I’ll at least have a fun story about riling up non-SLC zoobies….it’s the new “Steve Young is gay.”  Have a nice week….or don’t. I don’t care.