To all of you who have grown to love the Thursday’s With Raider Feature, we’re going to transition a little bit now to talking a bit more about the games. Don’t worry, other things will be discussed as they are warranted and you’ll still get the same juvenile humor you’ve become used to. Also there will be more gambling talk as we’re both degenerate gamblers.
As to you Mr. Raider sir, the season if finally at hand. Will Mr. Wynn’s shoulders explode? Do we have an O-Line. Is Star Lotulelei a man-beast or a monster.
As to your thoughts on the following games I cannot wait.
Northern Colorado at Utah No Line
I’m curious, have you ever been to the fine city of Greeley? Because it smells weird. Outside of that I don’t have much to say. The University of No Credit as Coloradans call it won some lower division national title some years ago, but now they aren’t good. This game will feature Utah running 3 total offensive plays,Utah winning the game closer than it should be and Utah fans complaining. Thoughts?
UCLA – 14 at Rice
At some point in the 1990’s Rice came to Utah. I and a friend you know as Ute King fueled on Jaegermister began screaming, I EAT MY RICE WITH A FORK as we held up plastic forks. I don’t know much else. UCLA minus the points.
Washington St. +12.5 at BYU
This game fascinates me. BYU went from thinking Riley Nelson sucks to thinking he’s great because they beat a bunch of really bad teams. On the other side, The Pirate takes over a team that has offensive talent and was coming on at the end of the year. Am I wacky to take the points. More interesting is the Over/Under is 61. Gimme da over.
Northern Arizona at Arizona St. No Line
If I knew anything about Northern Arizona other than they are the Lumberjacks and are in Flagstaff, and if what I heard was good, I might be ready to call an upset. But I know nothing so Todd Graham will text a win.
San Jose St +24 1/2 at Stanford
Ok lets get this out of the way. I’m sure SJSU isn’t good and I’ll take Stanford and give the 24.5. But am I crazy to think Stanford will come back to earth way more than anyone things. I call it the lesson we learned in 2005, you don’t lose that much talent and just carry on, unless you’re Boise and play in the WAC. Your thoughts sir.
Nevada +9.5 at Cal
I suppose I should do some research for this but since its not real money. I think Nevada is supposed to be good. I don’t get Jeff Tedford. For a genius, he isn’t very geniusy. Or is it that you just can’t win at Cal all that much? I guess I’ll take Cal and give the points but I’m not excited about it.
Nicholls St. at Oregon St. No Line
Nicholls St is in Thibodeux, LA and their nickname is the Colonels. I assume the Col. is the Sanders type and not the Sherman T. Potter type. What did you want more? *Note: This game is cancelled*
Colorado St – 6 at Colorado
The Battle of I-25 or some sort of Rocky Mountain something. The thing about it is that you’re reading that right, CSU is favored by six. Here is the thing, should I really believe in a coach who was Offensive Coordinator for Alabama? I mean how hard is it to scream, keep running over and over. Give me the dirty hippies and the points.
Hawaii + 39 at USC
Norman Chow does battle with Lane Kiffin. Honestly if Chow had like any decent players I wouldn’t hate their chances. But Kiffikins is going to want to make a point here. The question is will Kiffy make a 40 point point if you get my meaning. I gotta take 39 anytime its offered.
Sandy Eggo St. +10.5 at Washington
Isn’t it really put up or shut up time for Sark. I mean there seems to have been a whole bunch of barking from the Huskys WOLF WOLF WOLF and not much bite. On the other side, you’ve got Rocky Long and the mighty Aztecs. I think Washington makes an example so give the points.
Arkansas St + 31 at Oregon
Now normally I’m going to take 31, but not against an Oregon team facing probation. Oregon might score a 100 points. BTW for a minute I thought this might be where Scottie Pippen went to school (It wasn’t) So I wikied it and it turns out the most famous alumni is probably Olympian Al Joyner. I have no joke here.
Toledo +4.5 at Arizona
Now I am wildly excited for this game. But only because I believe I’m going to get the chance to me Tom Amstutz. How freakin cool is that. And if some of you people don’t know the Tom Amstutz story, well I pity you. As for the game, I can’t believe Arizona would lose this game, give the 4.5.
Well that is what I’ve got for you on our first gambling/football edition of Thursday With Raider. I await your response.
On this season’s initial docket, I shall respond a little something like this:
N. Colorado v. Utah
Like many, I’m expecting Jordan Wynn to spontaneously combust, because Wynn reminds me of my old car I had to finally put out to pasture a few weeks ago. It had about 175,000 miles on it, the head gasket blew on it not once but twice, and when I started it up to drive it to its final resting place it exploded. Understandably, past performance doesn’t predict future results, but somebody has to keep up the fatalistic doom and gloom that is us “old-school”-ish Ute fans. So that distinction might as well fall upon my shoulders. Also, keep in mind that Northern Colorado was also the school that first gave us the glory that is Crazy Joe Glenn. Truth be told, I kind of miss that guy.
Wazzu v. BYU
Perhaps I’m mistaken, but I was always of the understanding that Riley Nelson was the Second Second Coming after Jake Heaps wasn’t. What amazes me is that Wazzu goes into this game a double digit underdog. There’s just no way they’re going to be “losing in Provo by double digits” kind of bad. That’s not to say that I think that the reddish shade of Coug will win, but it will be closer than Vegas seems to think.
UCLA v. Rice
Some Jerky McJerkface posted the 1996 Rice/Utah game, which featured the most porous run defense in McBride era history.
Out of curiosity, what do you make of UCLA right now? Rick Neuheisel ran his yap to start his coaching tenure there, wasting no time threatening USC. After not being able to back up what they said, doesn’t it sort of make you glad in that respect that we didn’t bother to try and be competitive in football for a good two and a half decades? I know, any publicity is good publicity, but you get the idea. Let’s just hope for the Bruins sake that Rice doesn’t run that stupid wishbone option that has carved up our defenses over the years.
SJSU v. Stanford
You may not be aware of this, but San Jose State alums (and “fans” if they do have those in the traditional sense) loathe Stanford, which is sort of hilarious since I always figured that one would have the same pride in going to San Jose State as a person who went to Stevens-Henager College or the University of Phoenix may have. But to your question about Stanford, yes, they’re going to fall. It’s just how far it’s going to be. I mean, doesn’t Stanford have essentially the same recruiting restrictions that Notre Dame has? Unless they can find a few dozen Renaissance Men every recruiting class, I have to believe that they can’t stay a national power in football for a sustained period of time.
Nevada v. Cal
Let me see if I can explain Tedford for a brief moment. I’ve long held to the theory that Tedford is Cal’s Ron McBride. Think about this for a minute: Tedford hasn’t had a QB that has been any good since Aaron Rodgers left. Also stop and think about how many QBs Mac went through after Mike McCoy left. Actually, it’s probably best that we didn’t. The theory I’ve seen bandied about concerning this (and I’ve heard it more than once) is that Tedford runs a pro style offense and most of the high schools in his recruiting base run a spread. Whether that’s true or not, I have no idea, but I’m going to pretend like it’s a sound argument.
Colorado State v. Colorado
Oh, man, I’m so hoping that Colorado A&M can knock off that Team To The East. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, so it would be good for us to have CSU demoralize TTTE. Boulder smells like a combination of weed, corpulent perspiration, and arugula. (Does arugula have a smell, I’ve never tried it, so I don’t really know). Oh, sure, laugh at my cliched taunt. But once we get to Black Friday, you’ll come around to referring to them as that TTTE. Can’t even say they’re name they get under my skin so much. It’s getting to the point whenever I see a Subaru Outback with a CU sticker and a ski rack on the highway I can’t help but shout “go ski in your own damn state!!!!!”
(See what I did there, I’m trying to stoke the fires of a rivalry. Come on, try it. It will be fun!)
SDSU v. U-Dub
For the Huskies sake, their rally cry of “Barking for Sark” is marketing that as a Ute fan I only wish could occur here. Now, I do think that “Beg for Table Scraps for Lambright” or “Lick Your Own Butt For Willingham” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it, but this is why I never went into marketing or advertising. Speaking of that, is this the part of the preview where I ask if this is now San Diego State’s time to take home a conference title? We’ve been asking ourselves this since I started kindergarten, so in the spirit of marketing and slogans, I submit that Aztec folk ought to print up “Rebuilding Since 1986” t-shirts.
Hey, speaking of conference titles…
Wyoming v. Texas
This will shock a lot of people, but I’m actually hoping that Wyoming takes down the MWC this year. If my theory holds that Boise State is the new BYU, then the job of foiling New BYU falls once again on the shoulders of the Pokes. One or both of us may need to perform the daunting task of research here, but they may have a team that could pull this off. BSU will come to Laramie this year, so what better way to get things going than to go into Austin and prevent UT’s rebuilding to boot?
I must conclude by mentioning that of all the work you have done on the interwebs, the Tom Amstutz thing was quite possibly your finest hour. Could you have imagined what would have happened with that had Twitter or even Facebook been around in those days?