Mandi the Sorority Girl Picks The Pac-12


Hi Boys, miss me?

I spent most of my summer at the beach because I love the environment and I wanted to personally keep an eye on it.

For those of you who don’t know, my name is Mandi and they are super sweet here at Hoyo’s Revenge and invite me over to do this football picking things with points involved.  And it turns out I’m super good at it.  Plus, I show you pictures of me and my friends.  Essentially this column is the best thing EVER!!!!!

For you boys who like to place money on these games.  Mandi was 44-27-1 against the spread last season.  That means I won like 62% of my games (See that, and you thought Mandi was just shoe shopping in Math).  So I’m totally fantastic at this.

And with that, lets get to the picks.

Editors Note: All lines are from the Las Vegas Hilton valid at the time of publication.

First there are games that don’t have lines because one of the teams is really terrible.  Those game won’t count in Mandi’s total.  But I’ll still be totally funny ok.

Northern Colorado at Utah

I don’t think Northern Colorado is an actual state, not like North Oklahoma.  So I pick Utah

Northern Arizona at Arizona State

Look we all know how Mandi feels about those skank ridden whores at Arizona St.  But I don’t have any proof that the whores at Northern Arizona aren’t even skankier.  I guess I have to pick Arizona State.

Nicholls State at Oregon State

We all know Mandi thinks Beavers are cute, especially after a couple of Daiquiri’s. (WOOOO).  Plus Nicholls State.  Is that the name because its so cheap you can pay with nickels but they were too dumb to be able to spell it?  Whatever, they aren’t beating the Beavers.

UCLA -16 1/2 at Rice

What?  On one hand we have UCLA where smart girls who are cute go.  On the other hand we have Rice.  Rice is also known as the Owls.  I’m still confused so I’ll go with the cute smart girls.

Washington St. +12.5 at BYU

Ok tough game.  From last season we know Washington St. means one thing FAT GIRLS.  Now fat girls can be really mean or nice.  On the other hand we have BYU, which means horny returned missionaries.  Sadly when you have the combination of horny boys and fat girls, the winner is always the fat girls.

San Jose St. at Stanford -26

Stanford is where really smart people go.  San Jose St. is where really dumb people go.  Plus Stanford is where Mandi’s future husband Andrew Luck went before he became a millionaire.  Plus Mandi looks great in Cardinal.

Nevada at Cal -11

Ok at first I thought Nevada was in Vegas and I was totally going to pick the super slutty hot girls over the smart but very ugly girls at Cal.  But then I found out Nevada is in Reno.  Girls from Reno look rode hard and put away wet.  And that isn’t good.  Smart ugly girls in this one.

Colorado St. at Colorado -6 1/2

So many variables here.  Colorado has horrible colors, but Mandi loves the environment and cares deeply about the Buffalo (plus isn’t buffalo like totally yummy).  On the other hand girls at Colorado don’t shave.  And Mandi looks good in green.  So what to do?  Save the Buffalo

Hawaii +40 at USC

USC girls are probably every bit the skanky whores that Arizona St girls are but add in that they’re total snobs as well.  Plus it’s Hawaii and how great is that. (ok Mandi isn’t stupid but when you get 40 of those point things, Mandi is taking them)

Toledo at Arizona -10

Toledo sounds like a scary place where men with mustaches eat sausages and make out with ugly fat girls in public.  But Arizona is where the smart girls in Arizona go, yet they’re totally cute.  Fat girls can be scary but I’ll go with the cute smart girls here.

San Diego St. +14 1/2 at Washington

San Diego is a great place even if the girls are kind of Arizona St. like.  But have you ever met a girl who goes to Washington.  They’re ugly like Cal girls but not smart.  And they wear this horrible shade of purple.  If it wasn’t for that cute Husky, they’d be useless.  I’ll take San Diego with those points.

Arkansas St. at Oregon -35 1/2

First I never like teams that feel the need to remind you that their state is a state (and sometimes it isn’t a state, so confusing).  Not to mention it’s Arkansas, which means those girls don’t have teeth.  Plus how great is Oregon, all those different clothes and that great color of green not to mention how cute are Ducks.  This one is a no-brainer.