Editor’s Note: This was the beginning of our Thursdays With Raider, but I decided it was such genius it deserved it’s own post. Enjoy Raider’s Top 25.
For this entry, I’m doing a pre-season Top 25 of my own. Let’s call this Raider’s 25 Things That Will Happen This Football Season Because We Haven’t Been Good Zoroastrians…Or Something.
1. Jordan Wynn will not have the senior campaign many believe he should and I will give up lesbian pornography if Jon Hays plays one more down at QB.
2. One of the teams in the preseason AP Top 25 will probably be unranked by the time we get to the USC game. I’m going to guess that Florida State will be the team that suffers this fate.
3. Speaking of USC, the Trojans will probably lose a game they shouldn’t, because thats kind of what they do. My guess on that would be when they play Arizona.
4. John White will run for 1,000 yards this year, which really ought to happen more often at the U.
5. Wazzu will make a bowl game and Mike Leach will talk at length about the type of women his players are dating.
6. Tyrran Mathieu will continue on his journey to becoming the new Randy Moss. And yes, Al would have been all over the Honey Badger if he were still with us.
7. BYU will probably play us closer than 54-10, thereby prompting that fan base of theirs to believe things are going better than they really are.
8. Someone will be mad at Sharrieff Shah as the new CB coach for reasons that probably aren’t his fault. I can relate as Craig Ver Steeg and Tommy Lee still anger up the blood.
9. Brian Johnson will make some mistakes early in his tenure as OC, which is understandable. I mean, all you have to do is just his the triangle and L2 button and you get a first down. How hard is that?
10. The U will make a mistake during a home football game when Larry K is introduced to the crowd. Whether people boo or just indifferently golf clap will be a fascinating insight into the psyche of the archetypical Ute fan.
11. Seeing as how the biggest game on the schedule this year is on a Thursday evening, I doubt we will see a drunken woman take her top off. Such is life.
12. The Utes will make a better game than the Sun Bowl this year, and I think the Holiday Bowl is a nice, attainable goal to have. I guess.
13. Colorado may continue to be a foil for the Utes, because they’re a new rival, so why not lose a whole bunch of games to a rival for a while?
14. 12 year olds will be barred from voting in the AP poll, since that has to be the only way Michigan got a first place vote.
15. Peyton Manning will not be as good as he has been, but Denver’s defense will be what gets them another AFC West title, as that’s a bigger issue for them anyway.
16. Norv Turner will realize he has the best job on earth, because as long as the Chargers finish this season by winning 4 of their last 5 after a slow start, no one in that organization will care, because they will always think they will be better next year.
17. This year’s Utah/USU game will be different from most Utah/USU games, but the Utes will prevail.
18. The Blackout Game will continue, and that will annoy many a Ute fan. Not me, but many others surely will.
19. One of you will finally agree with me that the Steelers have become the biggest bandwagon fan base in professional and/or non-professional football. The Lakers of the NFL if you will.
20. Darren McFadden will likely get hurt again, so the Raider offense will be an offense in name only.
21. Our WR corps will be awesome in theory, but won’t catch enough passes from Carson Palmer. So we will have that going for us.
22. The Utes will defeat the following schools: N. Colorado, Utah State, BYU, Arizona State , Oregon State, Cal, Wazzu, Arizona
23. The Utes will lose to the following schools: USC, UCLA, Washington, Colorado.
24. LSU and Alabama will play in another BCS title game re-match, which is probably part of a deal George Wallace made with the Devil.
25. Most of this won’t matter, because of the Mayan calendar.