The Honor of Starting Falls To Raider
You and I have turned whining about the basketball program to a fine art, and since we haven’t discussed the basketball schedule for this year in much detail now is probably as good of a time as any to do so. Between Williamette, Sacramento State, some sort of combination of Central Michigan, Idaho State, and Wright State, SMU (twice), Texas State, Boise State, Evergreen State and Cal State Northridge there ought to be anywhere between 8-10 W’s in the nonconference slate. (I didn’t include the BYU game because that game is in Provo and with L. Ron Hubbard as my witness, there’s no way we’re coming out of the Marriott Center with a victory). Now, with the type of team I’m assuming we’ll have this coming year, this is tailor made for Larry and for people to believe that Larry is turning this thing around. Let us say for the sake of argument that we get to 15 or 16 W’s, but maybe four conference wins. For me, I won’t consider “improvement” to have occurred until we get close to .500 in conference play. Clearly Larry has a team that should be capable of such a feat.
I could also be completely wrong in the positive direction and this is going to be a 25 win team that wins the conference and gets an at large berth in the NCAAs. Truthfully, I’m rooting for that, but you Larry defenders out there have to understand that I’m not holding out any hope of that occurring. To that end, I have no real idea as to how the rest of the conference may look in basketball this year outside of Arizona and Washington, so if you or anyone else thinks my estimate of 5 Pac-12 wins in hoops this year is too high, by all means, feel free to write a rebuttal.
Recently on my Facebook page, I made a remark about how a) no album aptly described the emotional malaise of my particular generation better than No Doubt’s “Tragic Kingdom” album and b) Gwen Stefani still does it for me. Any time I discuss music or TV shows within earshot of anybody, there’s always that one guy or gal that absolutely hates whatever band or show I may have liked. And as a child of the 90s (and certainly a generation that was constantly told we were really special and that really wasn’t ever the case in actuality), I always enjoyed the hell out of No Doubt. You as a child of the 80s had a few groups you may not want to admit you liked, but rather than out your predilections, I’ll let you admit them as you so choose.
Speaking of things I will proudly admit in polite company, I am still excited that the one, the only Mike Leach is not only back in the college coaching hustle, but is at Wazzu. Is that not the perfect place for him? You may have seen this already, but Mike Leach on dating in Lubbock is a comedy gold mine:
A few of my favorite quotes in that video:
–“there’s very little salad at Kegel’s so then the girl will be forced to eat in front of you, which is something that women hate. But if you can make ’em do it, the earlier the better.”
–“if it’s a huge night and you’re really having a good time, then you can trade computer schemes and emails and all that mischief that people are up to these days that I know nothing about.”
I’d really love to know what he would say about Pullman. Since you have lived in this part of the world for a time, does dating really occur at WSU in the sense that Leach described it at Texas Tech? I have noticed that many of my former colleagues that did go to Wazzu didn’t meet their eventual significant others until they were done with school, so perhaps that is an indicator of the quality of coeds there?
And MAC Answers
In our shortened version last week, I had briefly mentioned the hoops schedule and you chose to go in another direction. Which is cool of course but I had grown concerned that you were going to move on from my hoops whining. So color me excited to see the hoops schedule come up. As for my whining, it’s just that every time I think I’m done, some Ute fans says something stupid and pulls me back in. The quote I’m seeing the most is, “I feel like we’re going to be a lot better next year, Larry really has us going in the right direction.” That quote sends me into a flying rage.
HOW ON EARTH COULD WE NOT BE BETTER NEXT YEAR. Larry has had two full roster rebuilds in just over a season at the helm and has come up with the worst possible schedule for a major D-I team that he could. People should scream bloody murder if we don’t win 16 with that schedule.
As for the schedule itself, it is so strange I don’t know where to begin. First no Weber or Utah St. Now the previous staff moved away from those games because they were signing high profile series in their place. If we’re not going to play anyone, why not schedule those guys.
Next the home and home with SMU is just weird, but what makes it stranger is that we go to Texas St., two nights later? On what planet should Utah be going to Texas St.? Not only that, we’re only taking one day off to do it. Texas St., returns 3 of their top 4 scorers (I looked it up) including a New Mexico transfer. Why on earth would you set yourself up for a possible loss to Texas freaking State. Then we book our two toughest games within three days of each other?
Finally I’ll have you take notice that we play Cal State Northridge on 12/21 and then don’t play again until we head to Tucson on 1/3. At least we’ll enjoy Christmas break. 16 Wins is the minimum level to call that a success.
And just answer me this question, how long will it be before we’re significantly better than Boylen’s final season, the season Boylen would have had if he returned and Boylen’s best season? Our friend Pat came up with this motto for Larry from Good Fellas and I think it fits (Just Linking, not embedding because there is swearing). But the paraphrase is EFF YOU PAY ME. Why on earth are we accepting waiting five years to maybe answer yes to the second or third season? Win Basketball Games Larry! Any mess we’re in was your creation.
But now for something completely different. As for music, yes I was a child of the 80’s. And as you know, it was pretty easy to be labeled gay for many actions in Wyoming. One of them was not loving 80’s hair metal (which couldn’t look gayer looking back on it). So I quietly listened to INXS and Depeche Mode while publicly pretending I liked Motley Crue. I was also a real 80’s rap guy. I once had a teacher take my NWA tape (yes tape) because I shouldn’t listen to, “NIG___S who just want to cause trouble.” God Bless Wyoming.
Also I recently bought Shaggy, The Bombastic Collection. Honestly a lot of great stuff. As for No Doubt, no judgement here. I bought the album at the time, saw them in concert at the Delta Center and I once sat next to Gwen Stefani on a plane. She was decent enough to talk to me.
As for dating in Pullman, there is actually a female in my wife’s med school class who went to Pullman and met her significant other there. Of course she’s from Phoenix and willingly went to Pullman to school so I fear she’d touched. Also they got married very young and I’m guessing it will be headed for divorce. As for dating, I don’t think people date in Pullman. Dating is a romantic notion that still probably exists in Texas. Dating in Pullman consists of parties where liquor and weed are used and then people pair off to fornicate. Not that I’m judging any of this more pointing out a reality.
Wazzu does have a creamery that is better than BYU’s and one nice restaurant. I have no idea why people actually go to school there. They have opened up a WSU-Spokane and anyone at Wazzu who can justify it wants to move their department to Spokane. Imagine going to school somewhere that you actually dream of going to Spokane. That my friend is Washington State University.
Its Raiders turn
My benchmark for a genuine improvement in basketball has to be winning more games in conference play, and a lot more. Anyone who wishes to ignore this aspect of the current mess we’re in doesn’t quite understand how important it is to make a big splash in something, anything about which the average fan of this conference gives a damn. Look, if we do beat Texas State no one will bat an eye. Start beating Arizona or UCLA or Washington a bunch of times, then I will be a believer in the current staff.
Why should we care this much about the basketball program anyway? College hoops in general has become a one month sport, so why not get our shrinking amount of hair into a knot about football? I write this not because I agree with it, but you know that mindset exists, especially around here. Let me explain it like this: that 1998 title run and how close that team came to a title still weighs heavily to me. I’m convinced that getting so close without getting there made me a more avid fan. Perhaps that’s counterintuitive, but the defeats actually made me a more interested fan. Maybe you have the same mentality that I do, because that is the best and only way for me to explain why I still care.
This meager 16 victory plateau still doesn’t sit well with me because of the fact that such a potentially historic run happened in my lifetime. Its kind of like improving your standard of living by moving from Magna to West Valley. “Boy, moving east of Bangerter Highway changed my life” just can’t be a phrase I can imagine someone saying.
Sidebar here: I was sort of ambivalent about the Pac-12 tourney moving to the MGM in Vegas, but the more I ponder it, the more I support moving it away from the Staples Center. You could go to the Pac-12 tourney and then…hang out at L.A. Live. Well, let me call in sick to work for four days and I’ll watch us get drilled by CU in front of 50 people. Given the choice, I’ll take my lumps at the 2-4 hold ’em table at the MGM.
(Yes, this actually happened to me on my last trip to Vegas. Although the very hot, very jet-lagged woman from Australia made losing a few bills worth it. Kind of.)
The major drawback to having platonic female friends is that many of them watch some inexplicable programming. Apparently, there’s this blight of a show called “The Bad Girls Club”, which as far as I can tell consists of several reasonably attractive women putting each other down and just being vindictive. Perhaps this simply serves as a warning to the rest of civilization that if you see this roaming pack of diva, don’t walk. Run. Its this glimpse into the mind of a woman that makes me happy I am single.
I would love to make the next trip to Pullman for football if for no other reason than mere curiosity. Certainly, I’m the only Ute fan that said after the Pac-12 invite “sweet, we can go to Pullman every other year”. Your description of the place makes me wonder why anyone would leave.
(Truthfully though, I read the phrase “everyone just pairs off to go fornicate” and judged the place simply based on that).
It could be worse, though. You could be Jeff Judkins.
And MAC (yeah you get how this works by now)
Before I begin by responding to anything you say I must tell you of the most amazing burger I’ve ever had. It’s at a place in Tucson called Zinburger which is a burger and wine bar. They won a burger competition with the following burger. Kobe Beef, Oregon Morel, grilled onions, and 1000 Island Dressing. Now idiots will come along and judge parts of this burger and say I don’t like this or that. They’re idiots. This burger is better than sex. And I mean great sex with a really high end call girl.
Here is what I feel about the basketball program. Our kids were going to class and weren’t causing any problems. When you fire a coach in that situation, the next coaches job is to get wins. Larry to me is measured by being better than Jim Boylen. And I don’t see why that should take 4 years.
As for caring, I think being in a Pac-12 town has made me care about all Ute sports more, because Pac-12 fans care (at least in Arizona). I bought an Arizona Baseball National Championship T-Shirt. Man I’d love the Utes to win a national title in anything, I’m totally buying that shirt. Even gymnastics, considering we’re approaching 20 years without a title. But we can’t have what was once the crown jewel of our athletic program in ruins. It’s shameful. God willing we can get back to just mediocre soon.
My fear is that Larry has done just about everything wrong so far. From JJ O’Brien, to the Hearlihy kid, the Sharp kid at BYU, wildly inconsistent results and on and on. If Arizona had offered Loveridge, he’d be working on an Ofer right about now. I don’t know how I’m supposed to believe in anything. Larry has to show me because my faith is gone.
The thing about Pullman is, imagine the University of Wyoming. Now remove the interstate. The only way for you to leave is a windy two lane road over 90 miles of windswept prairie (turns to ice in the winter) that is the deadliest in the state of Washington. And it doesn’t have a Taco Johns. Now, even with the fornicating (of which there is plenty at the University of Wyoming as well) is that a place you want to be?
There will be no less than four college basketball tournaments in Vegas. The week starts with the WCC at the Orleans. Then later the WAC comes to the Orleans, the MWC will be at the Thomas and Mac and the Pac-12 moves into the Grand Garden. I wonder what will have a bigger crowd a SDSU/UNLV final at the T&M or UCLA/Arizona at the Grand Garden.
I think the two things I have to conclude with are that I just downloaded season six of Dexter and this years killer is Colin Hanks. You know the younger Hanks is a solid actor who I think is held back by being related to Tom. Maybe he should star in Bachelor Party The Next Generation.
Second, I cannot believe what a total pass Juddy is getting for kicking that girl with cancer off the team. The season is seven weeks away meaning what better player is he going to fill the slot with. There are 15 scholarships in women’s basketball, not 13 like mens so how could he not have one for her. Third, the girl is a senior, meaning he would get the scholly back at the end of the season anyway. Maybe the girl is a problem but you’d think he’d have dumped her before she was a senior if that was the case. This is really just a shameful act and Juddy gets a pass. I don’t get it.
One more thing I don’t get.
Raider’s Conclusion
Starting in the Year of our Lord 2014, you and I will get our mutual wish in that the Holy War won’t be played for two seasons. I’m going to warn you ahead of time that this portion of the episode will be clumsily written, but I’m going to attempt to cram down a whole bunch of material into a relatively small amount of computer screen.
If you haven’t had the chance to do so, go over to Grantland and check out the 3 part story about the rise of WFAN in New York and in turn the coming about of sports talk radio in this country. (Here is the link in case you have yet to read it: http://es.pn/Ne2B12). It sort of weaves its way from the beginnings before Don Imus, by almost the whim of his own ego launched the original sports talk show, Mike and the Mad Dog. The “Mad Dog” half of the show was one Chris Russo, and I had forgotten about his rant after the Giants lost the 2003 NLDS to the Damn Marlins–Russo is a Giants fan, by the way.
Go forward about seven minutes or so into the video. It is not only spot on, but a glimpse of what I was like with not only the Giants, but the Raiders and the Sharks and the Warriors. In particular with the Giants until 11/01/10. Naturally, when I read and hear comments from people on both sides of this, I have been pondering how I would have reacted ten years ago with this sort of news. Russo’s on-air meltdown is for all practical purposes how I would have melted down in my 20s, seeing as how you’ve seen me do it on frequent occasions. Specifically with the sabbatical of the Holy War, there are mixed reactions about all of this, but I ask you this: wouldn’t you like to take a two year break from the following:
1. A Cougar defensive lineman boasting about making $50,000 a year. Even adjusted for inflation, I wouldn’t say that to people like that’s some incredible milestone.
2. Ryan Kaneishiro. Oh, now all of the sudden you care about the rivalry, Cougs.
3. The mentality that Zoobs were a) accepted to and graduated from the Y, b) members of the quasi-official Church of record around here, that they are better people collectively or a better person individually than I because of those two things.
4. If our former rival had their way, Prohibition would make a triumphant return to this state (and I’m sure that wish by some isn’t due to a lack of effort, either). And yes, I’m looking at you Max Hall.
I’m sorry, but that is not my idea of a “tradition”. If it’s your idea of “tradition”, then I don’t even know who you are anymore. Just once in my life, I want an arrogant, pimple-faced Zoob to simply admit that he isn’t better than me. Just once. Write it down if you have to and repeat it to yourselves in the mirror every morning. You. Aren’t. Better. Than. Me. You are the exact same imperfect, pale and flabby pile of junk that I am, and it’s all because Eve just couldn’t leave well enough alone, could she? No, I’m not bitter or anything. (Which, obviously, isn’t true at all but if beating the tar out of these guys every year won’t do the trick, this might be the closest thing to getting there). Rant over.
Your mere mention of this thing called a Zinburger got me to thinking. Whenever I travel or even when I’m in Salt Lake I have the Urbanspoon app handy on my phone. If you have the means at the App Store (or in the case of my non-iPod Touch usage, the Google Play store), download it and let me know what you think. Whenever I’m hungry and don’t know what the hell I want to eat, I’ll refer to this particular app. At any rate, the only ingredient I might quibble with are the grilled onions. One of my more famous social networking whines is the day I went berserk on how much I despise onions. Well, that and green beans because my Mom made me eat them for dinner at least twice a week, likely to test the limits of her parenting.
Before I go, do you sort of miss having the Seahawks in the AFC West? They were always sort of the goth/emo little brother of the division and their sole tradition is one they had to borrow from Texas A&M. But apparently a Seahawks fan blew up some Aaron Curry merchandise, who as I’m sure you’re know is an integral part of the Raiders current linebacking menagerie.
Maybe I’m getting old, but it’s hard for me to feel a lot of sympathy for other team’s first round draft failures because…well, Jamarcus Russell.
And MAC completes the week
You know I was actually going to recommend that Grantland piece to you, so I’m glad you brought it up. My first Mike Francessa memory was the 1991 NCAA Tournament Coverage. Francessa was a hot new name and CBS put him on their NCAA tourney coverage. Utah as you’ll recall went 30-4 that year and lost to defending national champion UNLV in the NCAA. Francessa said Utah was a paper tiger and would lose in the first round to South Alabama. Then said they would certainly lose to Michigan St. in the second round. I think because of this I always thought of Mike Francessa as an idiot.
The thing about sports radio is that if it’s done well it’s a pleasure to listen to. But far to often its done poorly. Like in the SLC market, I’m not even sure if those guys bother to check ESPN.com before they come on line. It’s why I always had some respect for David Locke, he at least tried to do research and original thought. Most of the SLC sports radio are so lazy their pissed they lost weeks of easy programming in 2014-15 because the Holy War has taken a vacation.
Speaking of the Holy War, wow did Gordon Monson have a fit or what. My two year old was embarrassed for Monson at how much he pissed and moaned.
Here is my thing about the Holy War. It isn’t really the long standing rivalry that so many want to act like it is. For much of the early rivalry no one thought much of BYU. Then in the early 1970’s, Utah hadn’t invested in football at all (and wouldn’t for another 20 years) and BYU did. Not much of a rivalry there really. Finally it occurs to Utah maybe we should try to win at football. So it’s only been a competitive rivalry for 20 years or so. Hardly the thing of Ohio St. Michigan or Alabama Auburn. I think the break will be a good thing, if for nothing else I get to see Michigan at RES.
I think I’ll close with a little ode to the Seattle sports fan. I make fun of Seattle but they really do have good fans and nobody knows it. They supported the Sonics forever and would support a new team. They love the Mariners and all they want for them is to win just once. The Seahawk fans are great and they kinda got jobbed in a Super Bowl. Hell they’ve even become the best fans in Major League Soccer. All that being said, they never win ever at anything. They are a cursed sports city but they are so cursed that everyone forgets they are cursed.
And I’ll give you some food for thought next week. For the AFC West, would you trade Kansas City for Seattle?
And I need to add a Post Script here. I hadn’t caught it the first time around on your Mike Leach video, but he lived in Cody, Wyoming? How on earth did I not know Mike Leach claimed Cody, Wyoming as his home town. This guy is even cooler to me now.