This Week Raider Wins the Face-Off
Not to sound as though I’m impressed with myself or anything, but I enjoy the hell out of this back and forth style of commentary. I never know what direction these will end up going, and you have thrown a few off-speed pitches at me in the past few attempts. So for my money (and hopefully for anyone else that may have the serendipity to read it for themselves), I’ve gotten a major kick out of doing this.
And now, let’s get down to business…
Over the past several months, you’ve pontificated at length about this “townsfolk of Hickory, Indiana” mentality that you believe permeates the Ute fan base. While I have attempted to formulate a good postulate as to why this may not be true, I can’t get the story of Ute basketball’s (and possibly Ute athletics) Prodigal Son, Jeff Judkins. Now, I’m willing to concede to getting bothered by a rather vocal minority here, but did it seem strange to you that over the past 3 or 4 basketball coaching vacancies–and probably until Larry got hired–that Juddy’s name would pop up almost as a token candidate. Why do you think this is? Because people think Rick wasn’t the same without him? Nowadays, it’s not terribly relevant due to the fact that anyone who would willfully become the women’s head coach at BYU has washed their hands of our athletic department. But the fascination some Ute fans had for Judkins struck me as hella odd.
(Yes, I realize that I’m a white guy that wrote the word “hella”. Possible cultural faux pas is what I’m good at.)
Speaking of things that aren’t relevant, I have to point and laugh for a minute about Florida State looking long and hard at going to the Big XII. One does have to keep in mind that the ACC’s TV deal is atrocious, probably every bit as much as the MWC’s TV deals of yore. And it certainly does put them and whatever the ACC occasionally musters up in football at an economic and even a competitive disadvantage vis a vis other BCS conferences. But do you think that the ACC would have a better TV deal if FSU and “Da U” were what they were as recently as a decade ago? I can’t blame Florida State for wanting to stay afloat while pretty much every other school within a day’s drive of Tallahassee has much more exposure and a better potential revenue stream. But it is the archetypal conference move anymore, since it concerns itself with TV money and TV contracts and not much else.
Now that Game 1 of the NHL’s Western Conference Final is almost underway, I would be curious to see if you would take me up on my brow beat from last week in the event of a Coyotes Stanley Cup Finals appearance. Of course, this would be to see if you would dare don the kilt you wore that unnerved the north end zone several years ago. Understandably, this is a big decision, so I’ll dovetail from this to ask you a question that I’ve debated on the interwebs off and on for about a year…
…do you think that another pro sports franchise would work here in SLC? Would it mean the Jazz would either have to move and/or fold? One of the voices in my head said “hey, what about Real Salt Lake?” Okay, fine, I’ll specify then. Either an NFL, MLB, or NHL franchise. Would they work here?
–The NFL will not happen here because…well, Sunday. And let’s face it, the NFL hasn’t done anything by accident since Brown v. Board of Education. I can’t imagine a scenario where, say, the wannabe Sultan of Brunei that owns the Jaguars would say “wow, I should move this team to Utah!” (I can, however, imagine in that scenario where Pat Bowlen would run into Roger Gooddell at an owner’s meeting, tap him on the shoulder and say to him “hey, Rog, I’d like to have a word with you…”).
–MLB is less clear-cut, but can you envision so much as 15,000 people buying season tickets or even luxury suites for 81 home games at a much higher cost than Bees games are now? AAA baseball in this market works just fine, in fact, I have run across quite a few people here who are Angels fans primarily because of the fact that their AAA team is the Bees.
–That leaves us with the NHL. Now, I love hockey just as much as the next guy, but if the Jazz were to ever leave, I don’t think that the typical Jazz fan would all the sudden start following hockey. And with the complaints you and I have had about sports fans here in Utah, I’m not sure that I would be too comfortable with that caliber of person becoming a hockey fan. That’s just me. Obviously, the “game changer” is if a theoretical Salt Lake/Utah NHL team makes a deep run in the playoffs and contends for a Stanley Cup. (Florida, Tampa Bay, Carolina and Dallas are the four most glaring examples of this). But this would be a fantastic “man on the street” type of interview. Ask a random assortment of people in downtown SLC to explain what “icing”, “forecheck” and “who is Jamie Baker?”
(Okay, the 3rd one is a question that every Sharks fan ought to know by now, so I injected my homerism into this piece yet again. My bad.)
I will pause now for a moment of silence to honor the end of the campy phenomenon that was “CSI: Miami”. “Dragnet” is definitely wasn’t, but the erotica in my own head that was Emily Procter and Eva La Rue is something I once described thus: Best. Sandwich. Ever.
Yeaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!
If we’re going to talk about Juddy, I should offically put my bias’ out there to let everyone know why I’m about to trash him.
First my father hated Jeff Judkins with a passion. Spoke of him as a dirty player with the same contempt I reserve for Nate Cooper.
Second, I was once told a story by a “reliable source” that Juddy essentially went to Hill demanding to be the coach in waiting when Rick left. Combine that and Juddy looking hard at the BYU job when Steve Clev got it were big parts of the falling out. BTW, I will tell you who the source was so that you can confirm that this person just might know what their talking about.
I always get irritated when people play innocent about a situation when they in fact aren’t innocent and I believe that about Juddy. Further if Judkins had real talent, beyond being a decent assistant who can help with a shot, wouldn’t he be somewhere other than coaching BYU’s women? They still never let him near that men’s program.
But to your original point, why do so many people name Jeff Judkins as a possible candidate or even think he might have been a decent head coach? Because for some odd reason basketball is in the soul of Utah. No not what they play at Rucker Park, which Utahn’s will always call, “Jungle Ball.” Utahn’s believe they play a pure form of basketball which can only be executed perfectly by unathletic white kids who can shoot threes and perform dribbling drills exceptionally. I think Juddy is some kind of symbol of this. And it all part of what I have continually called the Hoosiers myth.
And I’m with you, anyone who mentions Juddy for Utah Head Coach is not bright.
As for Florida St., well I kinda have to giggle at them. A buddy pointed out this article to me. Florida St. is pissed because they think Duke and Carolina run the ACC. The Big 12 nearly exploded and 4 schools left because of the unspeakable things that Texas forces you to do late at night when no one is watching just to be in the conference. And as the author pointed out, FSU is going to be a little sister in the Big 12, a step above Iowa St and Kansas. But it will come with a nice paycheck, they should call the Missouri and ask them how to emotionally handle being the conference BEEEE.
As for wearing the kilt. Honestly that isn’t even a challenge. I’d go all kilt all the time if I could. Quite frankly it makes me feel like a badass. So I will let you know when you can see me on the TV in a kilt and a Yotes jersey.
I’m not sure anything else could work in Salt Lake. Honestly the NBA nearly didn’t work until they stumbled ass backwards into two guys who actually wanted to play in a place like Utah. Now people are fans but if anything came it would take some sustained success to make it work. SLC is not a place you want to expand to with a bad team.
David Caruso fascinates me. He got NYPD Blue or what ever that show was where they showed Dennis Franz’ ass. Then he big times that show for a truly awful movie named Jade. I imagine he was nearly selling cell phones with former BYU football players but then stumbles ass backwards into a CSI.
BTW since you’re in TV, I’ll ask you if I’m right about this. If you want to make money as a network, program like CBS. Unfunny sitcoms like Two and a half broke girls and then the same show on like 47 times in the form of NCIS-CSI. But it doesn’t make for good TV. In fact it makes me a little sad.
Speaking of TV News, I’d like to conclude by introducing you to Heather Rowe, Tucson’s Finest Anchor. Oddly this photo doesn’t do her justice. What I find most amusing is, Arizona St’s school of communication is named for Hugh Downs. Isn’t that weird?
Raider With A One-Timer
As news of this broke today I thought I would mix in another ingredient to this week’s recipe. Ty Detmer was inducted to the college football hall of fame today, and I’m not about to argue whether he’s worthy of such an honor. People who argue over who is worthy of the college football hall of fame are less cool than people who live tweet pretty much any TV show. But I have argued perhaps as a true Contrarian that Raghib Ismail should have won the Heisman in 1990. Do you agree? Or was Detmer the beneficiary of an era of college football where we were so blown away by passing numbers like Detmer and Andre Ware? If he had been a baseball player in the Rockies organization, he probably would have been known as TyDet.
Funny you mention CBS, I was having a similar conversation with some other human beings about how eerily similar CBS’s current primetime dominance is to NBC’s for much of the 90s. In their case, it was Seinfeld, Friends and a weird combination of Dateline and Law & Order franchises. I do think CBS has a few other quirks going for it that NBC probably didn’t. Take Criminal Minds for example, which got picked up for its 8th season. I havent seen a lot of that series, but in my professional opinion, its just kind of…there. Is it a great show? No. Is it an awful show? No. Its just solid and it gets good enough ratings to justify 8 frickin’ seasons.
The same thing could be said for Mike & Molly although I think the fact that it airs when it does (after Two and a Half Men) helps it tremendously. Do you as an erstwhile fat kid find this sort of thing entertaining? Or is erstwhile the proper term, assuming that once a fat kid, always a fat kid?
And for that matter, how much longer will you network TV watchers tolerate Kelso from That 70s Show on Two and a Half Men?
Hey, allow me to commit a certain type of sacrilege and mention Jimmer for a moment, especially with your Hoosiers theory of hoops fans in this state–I’m including everyone, because even people who aren’t Ute fans fall prey to this. Does it seem strange to you that of all the college players that would become a cultural icon in this state that a player of Jimmer’s style would be the guy that “made it”? Because in a lot of ways, Jimmer was everything that the “Hoosiers” theorists get annoyed with. He’s more of a 2000s era Jason Williams of the Sacramento Kings than he is to, say, Andre Miller. Or if you are into amateur psychiatry, is that type of player someone the “Hoosiers” fan secretly likes but won’t admit it in public?
I just finished listening to the Giants game and I have to say, I am a spoiled brat because I get to listen to Jon Miller live and almost uncut every night. His calls on ESPN were nothing compared to some of the absolute meltdowns he has had calling games just for the Giants. In case you needed a prime example:
During the last series against the Diamondbacks he practically screamed on the air when Brett Pill, a career minor leaguer who is nearly my age, swung at a wild pitch that was at least 15 feet off the plate. Jon may be becoming some kind of anti-homer, as a lot of diehard Giants fans like myself tend to be, but he’s one of us curmudgeonly Giants fans whether he knows it or not.
Before I hand this off to you once more, I learn about local cuisine in this country solely from watching old episodes of Man v. Food. Do you find that to be an accurate portrayal of where one should eat in your town?
MAC ON THE ATTACK
First I have to start with the far greater tragedy involving the College Football Hall of Fame. Greg Myers from CSU was inducted. Now that isn’t the tragedy, its that Luther Elliss, who played at the same time, didn’t even make the ballot. Now as far as I can tell, getting on the ballot and elected has a lot to do with your local chapter of the National Football Foundation. So I suspect the fault lies at the feet of the Utah Football Foundation who I would guess like so many organizations, enjoys promoting guys from one certain school in Utah at the expense of other schools in Utah. I’ll allow you to extrapolate. Also here is a link to the column I wrote about this.
As for Detmer winning the Heisman, I’ve always thought the two biggest pieces of evidence that the LDS church just might be true are the Heisman and BYU’s 1984 National Title. Think about this, in Utah’s undefeated seasons we had to come from nowhere to just to get into a conversation and then there were a crap load of undefeated teams. In 1984 BYU opens at pre-season #3 Pitt and eeks out a win. Pitt goes 3-8 and isn’t good for 20 years. Then no one will keep winning.
Fast forward to the Detmer Heisman. Ty put up a lot of gaudy numbers against some awful awful defenses. They weren’t on TV all that much. They beat Miami and then no one sees them on TV the rest of the season. Two weeks after beating Miami he threw five picks and lost to Oregon. How does he stay in contention, because no one else has a season worth a damn. And Lou EFFING Holtz barely gets Ismail any touches down the stretch. It was like he had money on Detmer winning the damn thing. When Alex Smith has his Heisman like year, there were what 14 guys who had seasons capable of winning.
Those two events make me consider the possibility of the Mormons being right than anything in the discussions, and I’ve been through them.
As someone who is now slightly fat while spending part of my life as unbelievably fat, two things bother the crap out of me with Mike and Molly. One, here are two fat people living their life and somehow that is hilarious. Two Melissa McCarthy is vastly more talented than to be stuck on that piece of crap. But I can’t blame here. She could show her talent in obscurity like Patton Oswald or go the Adam Sandler route and just churn out crap but people will pay millions to see. Why work hard to get smart people to see your stuff when dumb peoples money is just as green? (Yes I went snob there sorry folks).
As for the rest of CBS’ lineup, the key is to give old people their comforting crime dramas and they’ll show up everywhere. It’s like a college hoops coach figuring a way to rig their RPI with the right kind of scheduling. I’d like to call this the Matlock/Murder She Wrote Phenomenon.
Well Jimmer is one half of what the Hoosiers people dream about, that is a monster outside shooter. I think the rest of what Jimmer is consisted of what BYU is very very good at and Utah is shockingly bad at and that is publicity for their athletes. I mean Andre Miller is an amazing story, Mom comes from LA to every game. He has a learning disability that he overcomes to graduate. Made himself into an All American and took Utah four achingly close minutes away from a national title. Yet Utah does nothing with him even though he’s spent 15 years in the NBA. BYU will mention Jimmer for all time no matter how badly his career flames out.
It’s the one thing I want from BYU, their marketing people. From all the Ties they sent out to get Ty his Heisman to the Train Whistles to get Rob Morris the Butkus Award, they kick our ass. Like I said a couple of weeks ago, Utah’s Heisman campaign for John White is saying he’s a Heisman candidate in the media guide.
Finally I do know this about food, don’t trust a word Guy Fieri says on Diners, Drive Ins and Dives. The places he ate in Spokane and Northern Idaho might have been the worst places he could have possibly chosen. As for Adam, I know a couple of things. He’s supposedly an ass in person. The second is, the burger place he came for his challenge in Tucson actually does make a pretty damn good burger, when you get down here, we’ll make a stop there.
Finally I leave you with two thoughs. One, remember BYU Hoops guard Todd Watkins. Greg Wrubell frequently referred to him as T-WAT on the radio.
Two I am utterly hooked on English Premier League Soccer. The drama between Manchester City and Manchester United last week, well that was amazing. Man City had to win on the final day to win the League title, that they haven’t won since 1968 and scored twice in injury time to do it. Seriously watch this guy lose his mind as it happens.
RAIDER SHOOTS… HE SCORES…
You have mentioned in the very distant past that you had taken the LDS missionary discussions and then it hit me: you should star in a TV show where you and two LDS missionaries try to convert you and hi jinx, hilarious misunderstandings and good natured ribbing occur in front of a live studio audience. Just think of the promotion opportunities.
“Monday, the Elders make a new friend and the comedy never ends…Missionaries, Tonight at 8 on NBC!”
(Although if this were to involve sister missionaries, it would have to be a drama on the CW. Because that network is one never ending chick flick.)
(Also, I want some kind of co-creator or executive producer credit, especially if the show becomes a hit. I get tired of working so I’m looking for enough money so I can walk around Aaron Spelling’s old mansion doing nothing except drinking brandy all day.)
For the record, I enthusiastically support getting Luther Elliss into the college football hall of fame. However, I’m not above sophisticated trolling, as you well know. You know that 15 years from now you would get a major kick out of getting a grassroots campaign going to induct Louie Sakoda into the college football hall of fame. Or, if we consider the pass happy trends of his era, Scott Mitchell. Sure, even our own fans will stick their noses in the air and scoff at such a thing, or that his numbers aren’t worthy of it or something. But that isn’t the point. The phrase “any publicity is good publicity” is a concept lost on a lot of people here, and most of what you wrote in that piece is living proof of that.
One of these days I may have to pen a more formal opinion on soccer/futbol. I’ve tried to get into it here and there, but typically the response I get from the pretty followers of the beautiful game is that I need to open my mind to this spectating Xanadu. The last I stepped out of that theoretical bubble, I ended up handcuffed to a hotel bed at 3:30 in the morning wearing the same clothes I did at birth. That’s a bad time to find out what kind of fantasy a girl has.
A while back you did chide me about my love of Buffalo Wild Wings because truthfully, I have one genuine vice in my life and thats eating wings. So only by your mere suggestion do I humbly ask you for where you consume wings in your locale. Junkies need their fixes and I need something spicy on the remains of what once was a chicken.
I leave you with my current Everest and that is my best friend from high school asking me recently to fly to his wedding this summer. This wouldn’t be a big deal except he’s in Sweden. Here is a country that has 6′ tall gorgeous women in every city, village and hamlet and I may not make it. So close and yet so far…