How much fun will the Pac-12 be…

We already have a total douche but a fun douche in Kiffikins at USC.  Then we get Rich Rod in Tucson.  Chip Kelly is a total nutjob in Eugene and now we add Mike Leach.  Imagine this conversation.

Kiffin: 85 Scholarships, I don’t need 85 Scholarships you fucking pussies, I’m Lane Fucking Kiffin.  BTW have you met my hot ass wife.

Kelly:  Whatever, I call my offense with pictures.

Kiffin: Yeah I noticed when I was kicking your ass.

Kelly:  Well, if Andrew Luck used pictures maybe you’d have beaten him too.

Kiffin:  Fuck You fat boy.

Neuheisel: Hey guys mind if I hang out.

Kiffin: Sure, but go buy us some pizza, you’re used to being my bitch. (Neuheisel slinks away)

RichRod: I can’t wait to start kicking all your asses.

(Crowd Laughs)

Kelly: You know you’re the coach of Arizona right?

Leach: The Pirate is here.  And lets face facts I’m going to be the king of this conference, I coached in the Big 12 for God Sakes.

(Group Laughs again)

RichRod: Jesus, you coach at Washington St. for God Sakes.

Leach: At least they’ve gone to a Rose Bowl, unlike Arizona

RichRod: Wait… WHAT?

Leach: Yeah dumbass, Arizona is all about hoops, enjoy polishing Sean Miller’s car.

Kelly: So Craig James got you fired, how lame must you be.

(Leach leaps at Kelly, pulling a large knife from under his jacket and puts the knife at Kelly’s throat)

Leach: If ANY OF YOU ever mention that name in my presence again, I will gut you and dance on your innards.

Kiffin: Lighten up Leach

Kelly: You lighten up Kiffy, tell us more about your time with the Raiders.

Kiffin: Shut up fat boy, where did you play college football again, thats right, NOWHERE, because your a sad little fat man who never wins bowl games and I bet you don’t have a hot ass wife.

(At this point Dennis Erickson walks in to bid everyone farewell and everyone starts doing shots)