Larry from Lehi: PAY ATTENTION TO US YOU FETCHIN FETCHERS

Is it weird that the voice of BYU looks exactly like a penis?
Is it weird that the voice of BYU looks exactly like a penis?

(Editors Note:  As was previously stated, a Utah County Judge forced us to give equal time to BYU.  Then like everyone else, we pretty much forgot BYU existed.  Here is Larry from Lehi demanding that we pay attention.)

I am so sick and tired of the pro-Ute media here in Utah.  They act like just because Utah is in the Pac-12 that they are somehow more important than BYU.  THEY ARE NOT.  We’re BYU.  We beat Miami and Ty Detmer won a Heisman trophy 20 years ago.  We have won seven games while those stupid yewts have only won six.

And now that we have Jake Heaps back at QB watch out.

And Utah’s schedule is so awful for the last two games.  Why would you watch them when you can watch BYU and Jake Heaps.  Jake was such a great man he let Riley Nelson play because Riley just really wanted too.  Now with Jake back, we’re really going to take off.

Not that it matters, we’re probably going to be screwed out of a BCS bowl anyway even though we’ll probably have nine wins.  It’s documented how anti-LDS the BCS is.

But back to my point, it’s November and for all BYU is playing for, how can you be ignoring us for a crappy Utah team with an easy Pac-12 schedule.

We’re BYU and despite all the obstacles we face trying to get media coverage, we’re not going away.  We’re that sore in the top of your mouth, no matter how much you ignore it, sooner or later you have to put your tongue.  Well we’re going to sit here annoying you until you give us your tongue.  It’s how we get our women and it’s how we’re going to take back this media market.

And you want to say independence is a bad thing.  Well we turned down the Big XII so there and we just might turn down the Big East too.  But if we go they are clearly better than the Pac-12 and those stupid Yewts.  I mean the Big East has Pitt, Syracuse and West Virginia.  Top THAT.

Now I have to go, because I have some Chuck-A-Rama coupons that expire tonight, but don’t you forget, we’re BYU and we’re like a big giant throbbing sore in your mouth.  Sooner or later you’ll tongue us.