The Zoob and I

This Zoob prefers French Fried Taters
This Zoob prefers French Fried Taters /

I took a different path than many of you to hating the Zoobs growing up.  I’m not like a lot of you kids who have never known a day of BYU dominance and can’t possibly understand their bizarre arrogance.  Of course no Zoob under 40 has any real memory of it either, so it continues to be one of their most baffling traits.  But I grew up a Wyoming fan, so while I don’t have the Ute Specific experience, I remember all too well what BYU used to do to us back in the day.  I became a Ute fan in 1989 when I went to college at the U.  I’m a Ute fan no thanks to Jim Fassell and all thanks to Rick Majerus with whom I’ve had a love hate love relationship with.  These are some random and hopefully funny memories.

– I was raised to hate BYU.  My father remembered up close and personal the Wyoming 14 scandal and essentially blamed BYU for the death of Wyoming football.  So my BYU hatred was in its own way angrier than many Ute fans as I’ve never felt the need to pretend LaVell Edwards was a class guy while standing there and letting his teams run up the score. (Of course I’ve grown not to fault LaVell for this, the move to independence shows Zoobs only want to run up the score on very bad teams and pretend like they did it against Alabama.  Its how he kept his job.)

– When I was a kid, Wyoming was never on TV especially as we moved a lot.  The first game I remember watching was 1982 where Wyoming beat BYU in a blizzard in Laramie.  It felt like we shocked the world, no one in conference beat BYU then.

– I was also at the 1981 basketball game in Laramie where Frank Arnold called Wyoming fans “despicable.”  Wyoming fans wear that term as a badge of honor to this day.  I’m pretty sure I learned to swear effectively in that old arena with a dirt floor.

– I was in Laramie for the 1983 game.  Jason Buck flipped off the entire Wyoming crowd, in a steroid induced rage, after a sack.  My father gave me permission to flip it back.  I look forward to giving my own son permission to flip off BYU someday.

– In 1984 Al Kincaid could have ended the BYU MNC season.  Except he didn’t have the balls to go for a 4-1 with five minutes to go and a 3 point lead and BYU not having stopped you all damn day.  Kincaid should burn in hell for this.  (Side Note: This was one of two games that killed my childhood, the other Benny Dees deciding to run with Hank Gathers, Bo Kimball and Loyola Marymont.  Fuck you Benny Dees)

– In 1987 Wyoming went to Provo and won.  It was amazing feeling and looking back, the clear end of the BYU era.

– 1988 was a special special game with Wyoming and the Zoobs.  First Night game in War Memorial Stadium history.  BYU’s starting QB was Sean “7 habits of a highly ineffective QB” Covey.  He was knocked out but somehow the BYU coaches left him in the game (and they would never do that with a seriously injured player, I’m looking at you Robbie Bosco).  BYU snapped the ball and the replayed showed Covey didn’t even have his hands under center.  The ball popped straight in the air and Covey just fell over.  Who entered the game?  Ty Detmer, where he threw 5 picks in what was prep for his little time starting in the NFL.

– 1989 was how I started the BYU-Utah game.  Scott Mitchell hurt.  BYU scores 70 and I don’t think they ran up the score that day.  Could have been 200 that Ute defense was so very bad.

-1990 and 1991 don’t hold many memories.  Ty Detmer throwing a needless touchdown to try and create the illusion he should win the Heisman.

– 1992 was the Snow Bowl.  Fun day.  Also Utes make a 2nd half run that secures a bowl game.  HOLY CRAP A BOWL GAME.

-1993, 94 and 95 are where it was truly shown BYU’s time over Utah was done.

-1993 Chris Yergeson from forever.  I’m on the field for the near riot post game as Ute fans attempt to tear down the goal posts.

-1994 A disappointing Ute team for me as they should have challenged for so much more.  Luther Ellis recovers a fumble to win.

-1995 Utah kicks BYU’s ass and all doubt that things have changed has been erased.

– 1996 The last BYU blowout.

-1998 Ahh the Doink, lick it.

-1999 BYU fan gets his ass kicked by a cheerleader

-2000 LaVell’s last game.  The memory for me is unique.  Outside of LUKE STALEY FUMBLED.  We were trailing thanks to the QB stylings of Lance Rice.  Darnell Arceneaux comes in the game.  I having been drinking for awhile start calling for Satan to lead us to victory, mostly to annoy the Zoob family in front of us who are videotaping the game.  We start coming back.  So I get louder, and we come back more and the fans around us are laughing that uneasy laugh, wondering what the hell is going on.  Finally Utah takes the lead.  I start celebrating and stop calling for Satan.  BYU wins.  I’m sure that family shows that video in their Stake as a faith promoting story to this day.

-2001 Nice throw Lance

-2002-2004 Gary Crouton, the gift that kept on giving.  And oh yeah Utah busts the BCS.

-2005 The Rise of Roscoe and Utah wins a game it has no business winning.

– 2006/07 Two more BYU miracles.  The 2007 game is where it took my wife about 3 hours to go from never having met a BYU fan to screaming, “why do you people think its ok to act the way you do!”

– 2008 BCS busted again and I just picked off Max Hall again.

-2009 Hall proves was a little bitch he is


And what is my favorite story of all time, THE BEER NINJA.  BYU Minister of Information Dick Harmon relays this story (and forgive me I forget the year).  A fine young man for BYU, after they had just been defeated is quietly walking off of the field.  When some Ute fan throws a cup of beer in his face.  Now this is nothing new, all Zoobs have had beer thrown on them and been hit by beer bottles thrown at them by every fan base.  But the beauty is what it would have taken to make this happen.

Guy sneaks a beer into the stadium.  Which is stupid anyway, any drinker will tell you that is a dumb thing to do.  Then he decides to keep the beer all game.  Then upon winning, he decides he’s too good to drink said beer out of a can and finds a cup and pours it into the cup.  Then he jumps down to the field without spilling the beer.  Then the ninja moves through the crowd without spilling the beer, finds said Zoob player and douses him.

Could that possibly have happened?  Even after I laid out what that would have taken, Dick Harmon swore the player was a fine young man and he would never lie.

I think what I take away from all of this is that the Zoobs are an odd weird little group,  And I do enjoy making fun of them.  But ever since some dickhead screamed at my wife in 2007, this game lost all interest to me.  I’d just as soon stop playing them, even if it meant I’d have to stop making fun of them.

Your thoughts?