Mandatory Credit: Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

The Cheerleader Wars- Ranking the SEC WEST


And it’s time to rate the SEC and we’ll begin in the west.

Right now any SEC fans who read this are saying, we don’t understand this rating, aren’t you just going to pick the best two SEC squads and have them face off for who is the hottest squad in the land.  To which I say, Bama Fan, why do you keep cutting your hair like that.

I have enlisted an SEC honk to assist me with these rankings, although he dost protest a little saying that the true greatness of the SEC isn’t in their cheerleading squads but in the women who attend the games as fans.  His claim is that were it a competition of those ladies, the SEC would win.  Of course SEC fan says that about everything so I don’t know what to believe.

As for the rest of this battle here is how I think it will take shape.  The Pac-12, Big 12, SEC and Big-10 will each get four seeds for a total of 16. I will then choose another 8 to 16 teams and we’ll then determine the best squad in the land.  Also I’m sort of considering dance teams in this so schools like LSU with the Golden Girls and UNLV with their squads who work the 2nd shift at Olympic Gardens, well they get extra credit.

And with no more rambling… LETS GET TO THE SEC WEST

7. Mississippi St.- I don’t know what to say here.  Other than go with, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

 

6. Texas A&M- I suppose when your famous for your male yell leaders and giving your dog a scoreboard, the female cheerleaders become a third priority.

5.  Arkansas- One half of my family is from Arkansas and frankly I had higher hopes.  It’s not that these girls look like they go to Miss St., they just aren’t top level talent.

4. Ole Miss- Frankly this might be my most disappointing ranking.  I had such high hopes for Ole Miss and I looked for all the evidence that I could, I can’t justify them any higher than right here.

3. Auburn- This is a perfectly respectable ranking, but knowing Auburn fans, they are right now trying to figure out who they can payoff to get better looking girls than ‘Bama.

2. LSU- I think the thing that does my heart good is not only knowing that these girls are beautiful, but having met men who go to LSU, they are seem a bit, light in the loafers (do not read gay) and I suspect they might all go for a real western man like myself.

1. Alabama- Yeah I didn’t want to make this ranking happen.  I hate Alabama, I hate their moron fans with their stupid haircuts.  I hate Nick Saban and the day Utah kicked their ass in the Sugar Bowl is a truly treasured memory.  But when you look at a cheer squad and your reaction is damn, well ya have to give credit where its due.

 

Tags: Cheerleaders Football Pac 12 Rankings SEC West Utah Utes

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